Josh's Vocation Story

Recently, Abide talked discernment with Josh, a 21-year-old U of A grad from St. Albert who is discerning a vocation to the priesthood with the Dominican Friars of the Province of St. Joseph, based in Washington, DC. In this interview, Josh shares about his experience of the discernment process. 

Abide: Tell us a bit about yourself.

Josh: I'm 21, I live with my family of 9 on a small acreage. I have a degree in chemistry and physics from the University of Alberta. I work now as a research chemist for my Dad. I spend most of my free time either with my family (little kids take up a lot of time) or reading these days. I read some classic literature, and also a lot of theology and philosophy.

Abide: When did you first consider the possibility of a vocation to the priesthood?

Josh: I was aware of the possibility of a vocation, and the shortage of priests in the Church, when I was quite young, but I did not want to be a priest because I wanted to be a great scientist. My mom always liked to go to a nearby used book store and binge-buy books at cents a piece. She bought a lot of religious books, and those stacked our shelves, but I never read all that many; I read a lot of Hardy Boys and science books at the time. When I was in high school my Mom got me hooked on all these theology and philosophy books, and I was captivated and impressed by the intellectual tradition of the Church. When I was 16, I was reading The Life of Christ, by Fulton Sheen, and I was struck by the part about the rich young man who asked Jesus what more he could do. Jesus told him to give his possessions to the poor and follow, but the man went home and wept, for he had many possessions. Sheen understood this to mean that poverty (and as an extension, complete discipleship a la religious life) was a special calling for certain people who want to do more than just follow the commandments. I thought perhaps that Jesus was talking to me in this passage, and maybe I had a vocation. I guess the biggest shift back then was when I came to consider a vocation as a calling to fulfil me, and not simply to fill a need in the Church.

Abide: What made you consider a vocation as a religious priest (i.e. as a Dominican friar as opposed to a diocesan priest)?

Josh: There are not a lot of very active and prominent orders in Western Canada, so my contact with the various charisms and missions was limited. I visited St. Joseph's Seminary here when I was 17, and I really loved the community, but I realized I felt more drawn to a strong community life than to the life a diocesan priest would live after the seminary. I also came to see myself more as a specialist, operating under a particular charism, than as a diocesan priest responsible for everything for a parish.

Abide: Why the Dominicans?

Josh: I never knew Dominican priests growing up. I had a great respect for St. Thomas Aquinas (a Dominican) and I wanted to study a lot of theology and philosophy, so I was interested in the Dominicans since high school, but since none were around I did not think much of it. I was getting spiritual direction from a Legionary priest during my third year of my degree and he also suggested the Dominicans when I told him I wanted to be a pastor (not first an academic) but still study and pass on the faith intellectually. They are medieval enough for my taste and their intellectual heritage is impressive. I also like the liturgical life they live. They sing the liturgy of the hours together throughout the day. I also felt that I fit into the communities that I visited.

Abide: Where are you at this point in your discernment journey?

Josh: I was hoping to enter the order this summer, but the vocations director asked me to wait at least a year, so now I am planning to volunteer for the next few months in a homeless shelter in New York with the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. There I will be able to serve the poor and maintain a good prayer schedule in preparation for religious life. I will leave to do so at the end of August. While there, I will be close to the Dominicans and be able to continue to prepare for entry into religious life. 

Abide: How have your family and friends reacted to your decision to seriously discern the religious life? 

Josh: My family is quite supportive. My Catholic friends are all happy. Non-Catholics, whether friends or strangers, seem to generally have positive, but confused, reactions to my plans. I think there is a natural curiousity in a lot of people when they see an apparently well-adjusted, successful, normal young man seek out an apparently anachronistic life. Sometimes people think I must not be attracted to women. It's pretty funny. I have yet to see brows furrowed.

Abide: What do you think will be the biggest challenge of religious life? What do you think will be the greatest reward? 

Josh: The evangelical councils are poverty, chastity, and obedience. Everybody says poverty and chastity get easier over time, and at 21, that's my experience. I never liked having a lot of things, so poverty does not scare me. The Dominicans are set up in quite a democratic way compared to, for example, the Jesuits, but I still will have to obey other humans, and one day that may become difficult. Everybody says obedience gets harder over time. I expect I'll have to work very hard on my humility.

Abide: Do you have any advice for other young adults who are considering the possibility of discerning priesthood or religious life? 

Josh: Find a good spiritual director who can tell you that your weird idea to give your whole life to Jesus and wear funny clothes for the rest of your days is not all that crazy after all. In general, just do it. If you like an order or a seminary, go check it out. You can't get very far on a laptop. God wants your love, not your complacency.

Pray for Josh as he continues his journey of discernment! 

Introducing Sister Celeste Mariae Therese, SV

On July 25th, the feast of St. James the Greater, Sister Celeste Mariae Therese, SV (formerly Charmaine) entered the Novitiate and received the habit of the Sisters of Life in the Bronx, NY. Sister (2nd row, far left) also received her new name. She is shown here with the nine other women who also entered the Novitiate in July.

Before discerning a vocation with the Sisters of Life, Sister Celeste lived in the Archdiocese of Edmonton, where she was an active member of St. Teresa's Parish in Millwoods.

The Sisters of Life are a New York-based Order with the particular charism of protecting and enhancing the sacredness of all human life. The community was recently featured in an article in the New York Times (check it out here).  

Remember Sister Celeste in your prayers and give thanks for her "Yes" to God's call!  

A Hug from the Holy Spirit

Written by a young person in discernment.

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence.”

--Blessed Mother Teresa

"What we need most in order to make progress is to be silent before this great God with our appetite and with our tongue, for the language he best hears is silent love."

--St. John of the Cross

As I have been on the journey of discernment for a while now, sometimes a friend will ask me for advice when they are trying to discern something. I'm no expert, but I have learned a thing or two through experience. The first suggestion I always make is this: cultivate silence.

For so many young adults (myself included), life is amazingly noisy, both audibly and visually. The places where we spend our days -- large educational institutions, workplaces, dorms or homes shared with roommates -- tend to be loud, busy, hectic places. Even when we are physically alone, noise and stimulation find us through our technology. For many of us, "downtime" is still connected time: we relax or pass solitary hours with our phones, tablets, laptops, Netflix, and music. We like to be caffeinated, connected, and plugged in -- all the time. The default state of noise is such a prevalent part of our culture that silence can seem scary, boring, or unnatural. However, we need silence in our lives if we want to be able to know God and his will.

Cultivating silence can take serious effort on our part. When I first started practicing regular times of silence, I found it very hard. I would go to sit with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament at my parish, and often the two of us would be the only persons present. Sometimes I prayed silently, wrote in my journal, or did spiritual reading. Sometimes I would just sit there and be. At first, the quiet and stillness was unnerving. I also found that if I had my phone or iPod on me, the temptation to pull it out and check it was always too much for me. So, I had to leave all my devices at home when I came for silence time. At first, I could only handle the silence for a few minutes. It felt boring, like a waste of time, and I didn't think it was helping me. However, I toughed it out and kept at it. Eventually I was staying in silence for up to an hour at a time, what I called "a legit Holy Hour." After what felt like a long time without seeing any "results," I began to notice the fruits of silence in my life. 

I began to notice that, while not much seemed to happen while I was actually in silence, God began to speak to me in other moments of my life, during my ordinary school/work routine. The fruit of my silent time would come at a moment when I was studying or washing dishes or on the bus. I realized that, in a way I didn't fully understand, the silence was creating space in my heart that was enabling God to speak. I also noticed that I felt more peaceful. External silence was helping my chaotic heart and mind to quiet down. I went from dreading and avoiding silence to enjoying it and seeking it out. Cultivating silence enabled me to get to know myself a lot better. It also enabled me to get to know God better, and to discover that knowing Him leads to knowing His will. 

I experienced a new level of silence when I visited a community of contemplative nuns to discern with them. I went from the chaos and noise of an international airport to the quiet of a monastery. The public part of the chapel was the first place I went. I sat alone there for a few minutes, and it was as if I was drinking in the silence. It was as if I had been dying of thirst without knowing it, and had arrived at an oasis. This silence was nothing like the awkward silence of a uncomfortable gap in conversation, nor like the stony silence in a relationship when the other person gives you "the silent treatment." This silence was rich and warm. It surrounded me like a loving embrace. The peace of this silence was palpable. It was the deep, deep stillness and silence of a place where God is present, and where He is honored, reverenced, and loved. A place where silence is respected and cultivated because of the nuns' desire to be able to hear the voice of their Beloved. This silence was a hug from the Holy Spirit.

After this experience, I began to treasure holy silence and seek out times and places where I could enjoy it. I began to think of times of silence as hugs from God. These times help me to be at peace, to think clearly, and to focus my heart on the One who loves me.

If you want to make space in your heart for God's words, and if you want to come to know His will for your life, I encourage you to spend a few minutes in silence each day, be it at home, in a church, or out in nature. Turn off the devices and put them away, quiet your heart, and switch your focus from doing to being. Like me, you may feel afraid of what God may say to you if you are quiet enough to listen. Let me reassure you: God will speak love. He is gentle. He loves you. He is for you, not against you. And He wills only the very best for your life. Cultivate enough silence to hear Him, and you may be surprised by what happens.

Sisters and brothers, His desires for you are so good. Be not afraid! 

"The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper." (1 Kings 19:11-12)